Inner Child Healing

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The first 6 years of a child’s life is of utmost significance because they pick up their belief systems from their primary caregivers and by silently observing their environment. So you can say a child develops the psychological blueprint during the initial 6 years of life and it determines the emotional response of the child for the rest of life. The child develops the capabilities of handling life situations and also develops a sense of self during these initial years. The foundation of ‘self-confidence, self-worth, good self-image and emotional well-being are all laid during this time. It is said that children do not learn what they are taught instead they learn by observing how the parents deal with their own lives and situations. The behaviour of the primary caregivers (parents) with the child determines how he or she perceives the world. The relationship with our parents and caretakers and their relationships with each other is the single most important connection a child establishes. This also transforms into their definition of LOVE. This is what they seek out in their intimate relationships once they grow up. Based on these beliefs they start creating their reality and manifesting people and situations in life. Most of the time the inner child issues are reflected in failed relationships, struggle with good self-image and issues with finances.

The most frequently asked question by people is why is finding and keeping LOVE so hard for most of us? The truth is most of the time we find the partner who reflects our own inner child.A child who is looking for love and acceptance in relationships as the primary caregiver was either not available or was struggling with their inner child. In order to find “TRUE LOVE” you need to be aware of your inner child’s need and blocks when you go searching for love in relationships or try to save a relationship.
The Issues in finding and maintaining the right partner/relationship can be either of these:

1. You are strongly attracted to the wrong people and end up getting hurt
2. You have blocks to being with the right people, leading to self-sabotage and developing a poor self worth
3. You are not aligned with bringing or retaining the right partner into your life you have freqent heart breaks
4. Your relationships trigger you and mirror your own weakness

Most of the relationships though appear to be different but at the core are similar. So the issues can be at home, office and also with self. You can fall under any of the above, though you may feel you are very mature to cause any problems but it is your inner child issues that get triggered/mirrored in all troubled relationships.

So let us understand your inner child . As you grow up, you unconsciously form an image of your future partner based on the strongest traits of your parents, both good and bad. You will then be subconsciously attracted to people with similar traits. This is not a problem for the good traits, but it can be a big problem for the bad ones.

For instance, let's say that your father had a number of good traits, including intelligence, strength, and humor. However, he was emotionally distant and unavailable. A woman who grew up in this environment would tend to find intelligent, strong, humorous, emotionally unavailable men the most attractive men on the planet! It's all good except for that one trait that will trigger you. Sounds familiar?

Similarly, if a man grew up with a warm, loving and giving mother who also happened to be insecure and needy, what kind of women might he be drawn to? It is important to note that you are not limited to being attracted to the traits of the parent of the opposite sex. Your subconscious image can be a combination of either or both parents.


Think about your parents' negative traits. In fact, write them down. When you have the list of negative traits from both parents, see if there is any commonality with your past/present relationships. You may be surprised (even horrified). This exercise helps you to understand your own triggers.


Sargam can help you clear the issues with your inner child in this group session with her. You will understand your own patterns and triggers and she will help you to be free of them
 

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